20 – Kausalya’s grief

Introduction

Rama approaches his mother Kausalya to inform her of the calamity. Kausalya on hearing the news, faints. On recovering, she laments in the most grevious tones to Rama.

Verse 1

तस्मिंस्तु पुरुष्व्याघ्रे निष्क्रामति कृताञ्जलौ |
आर्तशच्दो महान् जज्ञे स्त्रीणाम न्तःपुरे तदा || २-२०-१

While Rama, the best of men was leaving, after offering salutation to his father, women in the palace were weaping loudly.

1. tadaa = Then; tasmin = that Rama; purushha vyaaaghre = the best of men; nishhkraamati = While leaving; kR^itaanjalou = after offering salutation; sriiNaam = among women; antaHpura = in the palace; jajJNe = there was; mahaan = great aartashsbdaH = cry of pain.

Verse 2

क्ऱ्^त्येष्वचोदितः पित्रा सर्वस्यान्तः पुरस्य च |
गतिर्यः शरणम् चासीत् स रोओमोऽद्य प्रवत्स्यति || २-२०-२

Which Rama, without being told by his father, used to do necessary activities and protect the entire palace, is about to go to exile now”.

2. yaH = which Rama; achoditaH = without being prompted; pitraa = by father kR^ityeshhu = in actions; aasiit = became; gatiH = the recourse; sharaNamcha = and protector; sarvasya = to entire; anta purasya = palace; saH raamaH = such Rama; pravatsyati = is going to exile; adya = now.

Verse 3

कौसल्यायाम् यथा युक्तो जनन्याम् वर्तते सदा |
तथैव वर्ततेऽस्मासु जन्मप्रभृति राघवः || २-२०-३

“Rama, since he was born, was showing the same attention to us, as he was showing to his mother Kausalya.”

3. raaghavaH = Rama; janma prabhR^iti = since he was born; vartate = was behaving; tathaiva = in the same way; asmaasu = towards us; yathaa = as how; yuktaH = attentive; sadaa = always; kausalyaam = towards Kausalya; jananyaam = who was the mother.

Verse 4

न क्रुध्यत्यभिशस्तोऽपि क्रोधनीयानि वर्जयन् |
कृद्धान् प्रसादयन् सर्वान् स इतोऽद्य प्रवत्स्यति || २-२०-४

“He used to avoid actions which created anger and soothed all those who were angry. Rama was not furious with those who abused him. Such Rama is going today to exile.”

4.varjayan = used to avoid; krodhayaani = actions which created anger; prasaadayani = soothed; sarvaan = all; kruddhaan = who were angry; na kruddhyati = was not furious; abhishasto api = even if abused; saH = Such Rama Pravatsyati = is going to exile; adya = to day; itaH = from here.

Verse 5

अभुद्धिर्बत नो राजा जीवलोकम् चरत्ययम् |
यो गतिम् सर्वभूतानाम् परित्यजति राघवम् || २-२०-५

“Our stupid king by abandoning Rama who was helpful to all beings , is offending all the beings.”

5. yaH = Which Dasaratha parityajati = by abonding raaghavam = Rama gatim = who was helpful sarvabhuutaanaam = to all beings ayam = this naH rajahaa = our king abuddhiH = who is stupid; charati = is offending jiivalokam = all beings.”

Verse 6

इति सर्वा महिष्यस्ता विवत्सा इव धेनवः |
पतिमाचुक्रुशुश्चैव सस्वरम् चापि चुक्रुशुः || २-२०-६

Thus, all the king consorts while weaping loudly, as cows which lost their Calves, abused their husband .

6. iti = Thus sarvaaH = all taaH = those mahishhaH = king’s consorts chukrushuHcha api = were weaping sasvaram = with sound; dhenavaH = who lost their calves aachukrushushcha eva = also abused patim = husband.

Verse 7

स हि चान्तः पुरे घोरमार्तशब्धम् महीपतिः |
पुत्रशोकाभिसन्तप्तः श्रुत्वा व्यालीयतासने || २-२०-७

After hearing the terrific distressful crying sounds in the palace, Dasaratha clung to the seat, with extreme anguish for his son.

7. shrutva = After hearing aarta shabdam = the distressful sounds yhoram = which was horrible; antaHpura = in the palace mahiipatiH = king Dasaratha vyaaliiyata = clung; aasane = to the seat putra shokaabhisantaptaH = with extreme anguish for his son.

Verse 8

रामः तु भ्ऱ्शम् आयस्तः निह्श्वसन्न् इव कुन्जरः |
जगाम सहितः भ्रात्रा मातुर् अन्तः पुरम् वशी || २-२०-८

Rama, who was greatly hurt, sighed like an elephant, subdued his senses and went to his mother’s palace along with Lakshmana

8. raamastu = Rama; be it so; bhRisham = greatly aayastaH = hurt; niHshvasan = sighed kuN^jaraHiva = like elephant; vashii = subdued the senses jagaama = went antaHpuram = to the palace maatuH = of mother bhraatraa sahitaH = along with brother.

Verse 9

सो अपश्यत् पुरुषम् तत्र व्ऱ्द्धम् परम पूजितम् |
उपविष्टम् ग्ऱ्ह द्वारि तिष्ठतः च अपरान् बहून् || २-२०-९

Rama saw a much worshipped old man sitting at the gateway of the house and many other standing there.

9. saH = Rama apashyat = saw parama puujitam = much-worshipped vriddham purusham = old man upavishTam = sitting gR^ihadvaari = at the gateway; bahuum = many aparaamshcha = others tishTataH = standing tatra = there.

Verse 10

द्ऱ्^ष्ट्वै तु तदा रामं ते सर्वे सहसोत्थिताः |
जयेन जयताम् श्रेष्ठम् वर्धयन्ति स्म राघवम् || २-२०-१०

After seeing Rama, all of them rose quickly and greeted Rama the most triumphant man, by uttering the words “May you have increased success!”

10. tadaa = Then; dR^iTvaiva = after seeing raamam = Rama te sarve = all of them utthitaaH = rose up sahasaa = quickly vardhayantisma = exhilarating their spirits jayena = by uttering “Hail! Glory!” raaghavam = to Rama jayatam shreshTam = the most triumphant man.

Verse 11

प्रविश्य प्रथमाम् कक्ष्याम् द्वितीयायाम् ददर्श सः |
ब्राह्मणान् वेद सम्पन्नान् व्ऱ्द्धान् राज्ञा अभिसत्क्ऱ्तान् || २-२०-११

Rama crossed the first gate and saw old Brahmanas who were perfect in Vedas and duly honoured by the king.

11. saH = That Rama pravishya = entered prathamaam kakshyaam = the first enclosure; dadarsha = saw dvitiiyaam = at the second gate vriddhaaan = old braahmaNaan = brahmanas; veda sampannaan = perfect in Vedas abhisatkRitaan = honoured raaGyaa = by king.

Verse 12

प्रणम्य रामः तान् व्ऱ्द्धांस् त्ऱ्तीयायाम् ददर्श सः |
स्त्रियो व्ऱ्द्धाः च बालाः च द्वार रक्षण तत्पराः || २-२०-१२

Rama offered salutation to those brahmanas and saw old women and girls, guarding the gate in the third enclosure.

12. raamaH = Rama pranamya = saluted taan = those vipraan = brahmanas; dadarsha = saw vR^iddhaaH = old striyaH = women tathaa = and balaaH = girls dvaara rakshaNa tatparaaH = who were interested in guarding the gate tR^itiiyaayaam = the third enclosure.

Verse 13

वर्धयित्वा प्रह्ऱ्ष्टाः ताः प्रविश्य च ग्ऱ्हम् स्त्रियः |
न्यवेदयन्त त्वरिता राम मातुः प्रियम् तदा || २-२०-१३

Then those women, having been delighted, greeted Rama with good word of success, quickly entered the house and informed Kausalya about the lovely arrival of Rama .

13. tadaa = Then taaH = those striyaH = women; prahR^ishTaaH = having been glad; vardhayatvaa = greeted Rama with word of success; tvaritaaH = quickly pravishya = entered gR^iham = house; nyavedayasta = informed raamamaatuH = Kausalya; the mother of Rama priyam = the pleasing news.

Verse 14

कौसल्या अपि तदा देवी रात्रिम् स्थित्वा समाहिता |
प्रभाते तु अकरोत् पूजाम् विष्णोह् पुत्र हित एषिणी || २-२०-१४

At that time, Kausalya having spent the whole night with steadfastness, who performing worship to Vishnu,at dawn, for the welfare of her son.

14. tadaa = at that time; kausalyaa = Kausalya sthitvaa = having stayed samaahitaa = steadfast raatrim = all the night; akarot = performed pujaam = worship vishhnoH = to Vishnu prabhaate = at dawn putrahi taishhiNii = for the welfare of the son.

Verse 15

सा क्षौम वसना ह्ऱ्ष्टा नित्यम् व्रत परायणा |
अग्निम् जुहोति स्म तदा मन्त्रवत् क्ऱ्त मन्गला || २-२०-१५

Kausalya, who was interested to practise religious vows regularly was appearing auspiciously by wearing a white silk sari and gladly performing sacrificial ceremony in a sacred fire, by reciting vedic hymns.

15. saa = Kausalya vrata paraayaNaa = who was interested to pracise religious vows nityam = regularly; kshhouma vesanaa = was wearing white silk sari kR^ita maN^galaa = made up of auspiciousness; hR^ishhTaa = thrilling with rapture; juhotisma = was doing sacrificial ceremony agnim = in fire mantravat = reciting vedic hymns.

Verse 16

प्रविश्य च तदा रामः मातुर् अन्तः पुरम् शुभम् |
ददर्श मातरम् तत्र हावयन्तीम् हुत अशनम् || २-२०-१६

Then Rama entered the auspicious mother’s apartment and saw his mother performing sacrificial ceremony in sacred fire there.

16. tadaa = Then raAmaH = Rama provishya = entered shubham = auspicious maatuH antaHpuram = mother’s apartment; dadarsha = saw maataram = mother haavayantiim = performing sacrificial ceremony hutaashanam = in sacred fire tatra = there.

Verse 17 & 18

देवकार्यनिमित्तम् च तत्रापश्यत् समुद्यतम्|
दध्यक्षतम् घृतम् चैव मोदकान् हविषस्तदा || २-२०-१७
लाजान् माल्यानि शुक्लानि पायसम् कृसरम् तथा |
समिधः पूर्णकुम्भांश्छ ददर्श रघुनंदनः || २-२०-१८

There, Rama saw the articles of worship kept ready for the purpose of the sacred ceremony like curd, unbroken rice, clarified butter, sweet meats, things fit for oblation, fried grain, garlands made of white flowers, rice boiled in milk, mixture of rice and peas with a few spices, sacrificial sticks, vessels full of water etc.

17;18. tatra = There; raghunandanaH = Rama apashyat = saw samudyatam = articles of worship kept ready devakaaryanimiHam = for the purpose of sacred ceremony; dadhyakshhatam = curd;unbroken rice; gR^itam chaiva = clarified butter modakaan = sweet meats; tathaa = and havishhaH = things fit for oblation laajaan = fried grain; shuklaani = white maalyaani = garlands; paayasam = rice boiled in milk; kR^isaram = mixture of rice and peas with a few spices; samidhaH = sacrificial sticks puurNa kumbhaashcha = vessels full of water.

Verse 19

ताम् शुक्लक्षौमसम्वीताम् व्रतयोगेन कर्शिताम् |
तर्पयन्तीम् ददर्शाद्भिः देवताम् देववर्णिनीम् || २-२०-१९

Kausalya, who became lean because of observance of vows, was shining like an angel with her white silk sari and was satiating gods by presenting to them libations by water.

19. dadarsha = saw taam = Kausalya shukla kshhouma samviitaam = who was wearing white silk sari; karshitaam = became lean vratayogena = because of observance of vow; deva varNiniim = having appearance of an angel devataam = gods abdhiH = with water.

Verse 20

सा चिरस्य आत्मजम् द्ऱ्ष्ट्वा मात्ऱ् नन्दनम् आगतम् |
अभिचक्राम सम्ह्ऱ्ष्टा किशोरम् वडवा यथा || २-२०-२०

By seeing her son who came after a long time and who gave delight to mother, Kausalya was pleased and approached towards him, like a female horse approaching her young colt.

20. dr^ishTvaa = by seeing aatmajam = her son; aagatam = who came chirasya = after a long time; maatR^i nandanam = who gave delight to his mother; saa = Kausalya samhRishhTaa = was glad abhichakrama = approached; by moving in front; kishoram yathaa = like a young colt; badabaa = by a female horse.

Verse 21

स मातरमभिक्रान्तामुपसम्गृह्य राघवः |
परिष्वक्तश्च बाहुभ्यामुपाग्रातश्च मूर्धनि || २-२०-२१

Rama offered salutation to the approaching mother by touching her feet. Then, she took him into her arms and smelt his head.

21. raamaH = Rama upa samgR^ihya = offered salutation by touching the feet abhikraantam = of approaching maataram = mother; parishhvaktaH = was embraced baahubhyaam = by her arms; upaaghraatashcha = was smelt muurdhani = in his head.

Verse 22

तम् उवाच दुराधर्षम् राघवम् सुतम् आत्मनः |
कौसल्या पुत्र वात्सल्यात् इदम् प्रिय हितम् वचः || २-२०-२२

Kausalya spoke these pleasing words affectionately to her son Rama, who was unassailable by enemies.

22. kausalya = Kausalya vuvaacha = spoke idam = these priyahitham = pleasing and salutary vachaH = words putravaatsalyaat = due to affection on son aatmanaH = her sutam = son tam raaghavam = that Rama duraadharshham = who was unassailable

Verse 23

व्ऱ्द्धानाम् धर्म शीलानाम् राजर्षीणाम् महात्मनाम् |
प्राप्नुहि आयुः च कीर्तिम् च धर्मम् च उपहितम् कुले || २-२०-२३

“Obtain long life and glory, as obtained by the aged , the virtuous, the great souled and the royal sages .Protect the righteousness engrained in your race”

23. praapnuhi = obtain aayushcha = long life; kiirtimeha = glory; dharmamcha = and duty upahitam = engrained kule = in your race; vriddhaanam = as with the aged; dharmashhiilaanaam = the great souled; raajarshhiiNaam = the rayol sages.

Verse 24

सत्य प्रतिज्ञम् पितरम् राजानम् पश्य राघव |
अद्य एव हि त्वाम् धर्म आत्मा यौवराज्ये अभिषेक्ष्यति || २-२०-२४

“Oh,Rama ! King Dasaratha ,your father is a man of true promise. Today itself, you will be installed as successor to the kingdom by your virtuous father.”

24. raaghava = Oh; Rama! pashya = see raajaanam = the king pitaram = your father; satya pratiG^yam = who is having true promise adyaiva = Today itself; dharmaatmaa = that virtuous man abhishhekshhyati = will install tvaam = you youvaraajye = as successor to kingdom.

Verse 25

दत्तमासनमालभ्य भोजनेन निमन्त्रितः |
मातरम् राघवः किंचित् प्रसार्य अन्जलिम् अब्रवीत् || २-२०-२५

Kausalya asked Rama to take food , but Rama just touched the seat offered by her and after performing salutation to her, spoke thus to his mother.

25. raaghavaH = Rama nimantritaH = was called bhojanena = for food; aalabhya = touched aasanam = the seat dattam = offered; prasaarya = raised kinchit = slightly aNjalim = joined palms; abraviit = spoke maataram = to mother.

Verse 26

स स्वभाव विनीतः च गौरवाच् च तदा आनतः |
प्रस्थितो दण्डकारण्यमाप्रष्टुमुपचक्रमे || २-२०-२६

That Rama , being humble in nature , became still modest due to respect for his mother and was set about to ask her permission before setting forth his journey to Dandaka forest.

26. tadaa = Then saH = that Rama ; svabhaava viniitashcha = being humble in nature; nataHcha = and modest gouravaat = due to respect for mother; prasthtaH = setting fourth journey daNd^akaaraNy^am = to Dandaka forest; upakrame = was set about aaprasTum = to seek permission.

Verse 27

देवि नूनम् न जानीषे महद् भयम् उपस्थितम् |
इदम् तव च दुह्खाय वैदेह्या लक्ष्मणस्य च || २-२०-२७

“Oh,mother! You do not know that a great dismay is approaching now. It brings grief to you, to Sita and to Lakshmana”

27. devii = oh; mother! na jaaniishhe = you do not know mahat = -great bhayam = dismay upasthitam = is approaching nuunam = indeed. idam = This duHkhaaya = brings grief tavaacha = to you ; vaidehyaa = to Sita lakshhmaN^asyacha = and to Lakshmana.

Verse 28

गमिष्ये दण्डकारण्यम् किमनेनासनेन मे |
विष्टरासनयोग्यो हि कालोऽयम् मामुपस्थितः || २-२०-२८

“I am going to Dandaka forest. Why this seat for me? Time has come for me to sit on a seat made of Kusha grass.”

28. gamishhye = while going daN^dakaarNy^am = to Dandaka forest; kim = why anena = This seat me = for me? ayam = This kaalaH = time upasthitaH = has appeared; visTaraasanayogyaH = which is fit for a seat made of kusa grass.

Verse 29

चतुर्दश हि वर्षाणि वत्स्यामि विजने वने |
मधु मूल फलैः जीवन् हित्वा मुनिवद् आमिषम् || २-२०-२९

“I shall live in a solitary forest like a sage for fourteen years, leaving off meat and living with roots, fruits and honey”.

29. vatsyaami = I shall live vane = in forest; vijane = bereft of people munivat = like sage chaturdasha = fourteen varshhaaNi = years hitvaa = leaving off aamishham = meat; jiivan = living madhu muulaphalaiH = with honey; roots and fruits.

Verse 30

भरताय महा राजो यौवराज्यम् प्रयच्चति |
माम् पुनर् दण्डक अरण्यम् विवासयति तापसम् || २-२०-३०

“The great king is giving to Bharata the succession to kingdom and to me, however, he is making me a sage to stay in the forest of Dandaka.”

30. mahaarajaH = the great king prayachhati = is giving bharataaya = to Bharata youvaraajyam = the succession to kingdom. maam punaH = To me; however; taapasam = as a sage nivaasayati = making me stay daN^dakaaraNye = in forest

Verse 31

स ष्ट्चाअष्टौ च वर्षाणि वत्स्यामि विजने वने |
आसेवमानो वन्यानि फलमूलैश्च चर्तयन् || २-२०-३१

“I have to satisfy with the things existing in the forest and subsist with roots and fruits in a solitary forest for fourteen years.”

31. saH = such of myself; aasevamaanaH = has to satisfy vanyaani = with things existing in the forest; vartayam = live phala nuulai = with roots and fruits vatsyaami = reside in vijane vane = forest; of people shaTcha = ashhToucha = for fourteen varshhaaNi = years.

Verse 32

सा निकृत्तैव सालस्य यष्टिः परशुना वने |
पपात सहसा देवी देवतेव दिवश्च्युता || २-२०-३२

The queen Kausalya fell on the floor all at once like the branch of a tree, cut down by an axe and as an angel dropping down from heaven.

32. saa devii = That queen papaata = fell on floor sahasaa = all at once yashTiH iva = like the branch saalasya = of the tree nikRitta = cut down parashunaa = by axe vane = in the forest; devatena = as angel chyutaa = dropping down divaH = from heaven

Verse 33

ताम् अदुह्ख उचिताम् द्ऱ्ष्ट्वा पतिताम् कदलीम् इव |
रामः तु उत्थापयाम् आस मातरम् गत चेतसम् || २-२०-३३

Seeing Kausalya who was fit to be free from sorrow, Rama lifted up her, who had fallen unconsciously on the floor like a plantain tree.

33. raamaH = Rama dR^ishTvaa = saw taam maataram = that mother aduHkhochitaam = who was fit to be from sorrow; utthaapayaamaasa = lifted up her gatachetanam = who lost consciousness; patitaam = who fell on the floor kadaLiimiva = like a plantain tree.

Verse 34

उपाव्ऱ्त्य उत्थिताम् दीनाम् वडवाम् इव वाहिताम् |
पांशु गुण्ठित सर्व अग्नीम् विममर्श च पाणिना || २-२०-३४

Rama touched with his hand that miserable Kausalya,whose limbs were covered with fragrant powder and who rose like a loaded horse from the floor on which it rolled from side to side.

34. vi mamarsha = Rama touched paaNinaa = with hand diinaam = miserable Kausalya; paamsukuNThita sarvaaN^giim = whose limbs were covered with fragrant powder badamaamiva = like a female horse; vaahitaam = made to be carried of load; utthitaam = rose upaavR^ittya = after rolling from side to side.

Verse 35

सा राघवम् उपासीनम् असुख आर्ता सुख उचिता |
उवाच पुरुष व्याघ्रम् उपश्ऱ्ण्वति लक्ष्मणे || २-२०-३५

Kausalya, who was fit for happiness but was afflicted with grief, spoke thus to Rama the best of men who was sitting nearby, while Lakshmana was hearing.

35. saa = That kausalya = sukhochita = who was fit for happiness asukhaartaa = but afflicted with sorrow; uvaacha = spoke raaghavam = to Rama purushhavyaaghram = the best of men upaasiinam = who was sitting nearby; lakshhmaN^e = while Lakshmana upashR^iNvati = was hearing.

Verse 36

यदि पुत्र न जायेथा मम शोकाय राघव |
न स्म दुह्खम् अतः भूयः पश्येयम् अहम् अप्रजा || २-२०-३६

“Oh, Rama! I would not have felt this much grief if I were childless .You are born only to produce sorrow to me.”

36. putra = oh;son! raaghavaa = Rama! jayethaaH yadi = If you were not born shokaaya = to cause grief mama = to me aham = I nasma pashyeyam = would not have seen bhuuyaH = greater duHkham = grief ataH = than this aprajaaH = without progeny.

Verse 37

एकएव हि वन्ध्यायाः शोको भवति मानवः |
अप्रजा अस्मि इति सम्तापो न हि अन्यः पुत्र विद्यते || २-२०-३७

“Oh, son! There is no other grief to a barren woman except the only worry that “I have no sons”.

37. putra = Oh;son! na vidyate = There is no anyaH = other santaapaH = grief vandhyaayaaH = to a barren women bhavati hi = There is indeed ekaH = one shokaH eva = only grief maanasaH = relating to mind iti = that asmi aprajaaH “I have no children”

Verse 38

न द्ऱ्ष्ट पूर्वम् कल्याणम् सुखम् वा पति पौरुषे |
अपि पुत्रे विपश्येयम् इति राम आस्थितम् मया || २-२०-३८

“Oh, Rama! I have not seen any happiness or prosperity earlier, while my husband is in power. I believed that I could see them at last when my son comes to power.”

38. raamaH = oh; Rama na dR^ishTa puurvam = earlier was not seen sukham vaa = happiness or kalyaaNam = prospering pate pourushhe = during my husband’s manliness. asthitam = It was believed mayaa = by me iti = that api pashyeyam = can I see putre_api = at least in my son

Verse 39

सा बहूनि अमनोज्ञानि वाक्यानि ह्ऱ्दयच्चिदाम् |
अहम् श्रोष्ये सपत्नीनाम् अवराणाम् वरा सती || २-२०-३९

“I have to hear so many disagreeable words from my fellow-wives who are inferior to me and who pierce my heart with their words though I am a better and virtuous wife among them.”

39. saa aham = such a person as myself; varaa satii = who is a better and virtuous wife; bahuuni = so many amaroG^Yaani = disagreeable vaakyaani = words sapatniinaam = of fellow wives; avaraaNaam = who are inferior to me; hR^idayachhidaam = who pierce the heart.

Verse 40

अतः दुह्खतरम् किम् नु प्रमदानाम् भविष्यति |
त्वयि सम्निहिते अपि एवम् अहम् आसम् निराक्ऱ्ता || २-२०-४०

“Which one will be more sorrowful to women than this unending and consuming grief that occurred to me now?”

40. kim nu = which one bhavishhyati = will be duHkhataram = more sorrowful pramadaanaam = to women ataH = than yaadR^ishaH = which -anantakaH = unending vilaapashcha = and dissolving shokaH = grief mama = to me

Verse 41

त्वयि सन्निहितेऽप्येवमहमासं निराकृता |
किम् पुनः प्रोषिते तात ध्रुवम् मरणम् एव मे || २-२०-४१

“Even when you are near by, I am being rejected. What to tell after you leave for exile? Death indeed is certain to me.”

41. taata = Oh; father(a term of affection addressed to a junior) tvayi sannihite api = Even when you are nearby; aham = I niraakR^itaa aasam = was rejected evam = thus kim punaH = what to tell proshhite = when you go to exile. maraNam = death dhR^ivam is certain me = to me

Verse 42

अत्यन्तनिगृहीतास्मि भर्तुर्नित्य्मतन्त्रिता |
परिवारेण कैकेय्या समा वाप्यथवाऽवरा || २-२०-४२

“My husband always held me down, without giving me any independence and treat me equal to or even lower than the servants of Kaikeyi”

42. asmi = Iam; nityam ;always atyanta nigR^ihiitaa = held down heaving bhartuH = by husband; atantritaa = without independence samaava = equal to athavaa = or avaraa = lower than parivaareNa = servants kaikeyyaaH = of Kaikeyi

Verse 43

यो हि माम् सेवते कश्चित् अथ वा अपि अनुवर्तते |
कैकेय्याः पुत्रम् अन्वीक्ष्य स जनो न अभिभाषते || २-२०-४३

Those who serve me now and those who follow me, will not speak to me, after seeing Bharata”.

43. yaH = kashchit = Anyone whatsoever sevate = serves maam = me athava = or anuvartate = follows saHjanaH = that person na abhibhaashhate hi = will not indeed speak anviikshhya = after seeing kaikeyyaaH = Kaikeyi’s putram = son

Verse 44

नित्यक्रोधतया तस्याः कथं नु खरवादि तत् |
कैकेय्या वदनम् द्रष्टुम् पुत्र शक्ष्यामि दुर्गता || २-२०-४४

Oh, son! How can I, the miserable one, see the face of Kaikeyi who talks hurtingly because of her continuous anger.”

44. putra = oh; son! durgataa = Myself; the miserable one! katham nu = how shakshhyaami = can I be able drashhTum = to see adanam = face tasyaaH kaikeyyaaH = of that Kaikeyi khara vaadi = who talks hurtingly nitya krodhatayaa ;because of the continuous anger

Verse 45

दश सप्त च वर्षाणि तव जातस्य राघव |
असितानि प्रकान्क्षन्त्या मया दुह्ख परिक्षयम् || २-२०-४५

“Oh,Rama! I have been waiting for seventeen years after your second birth of thread ceremony, with the hope that my troubles will disappear at one time or the other.”

45. raaghava = Oh; Rama! aasitaani = sat down mayaa = by me dasha saptacha = for seventeen varshhaa Ni = years tava jaatasya = after your second birth of your thread ceremony praakaaNkshhantyaa = with hope of duHkha parikshhantyaam = disappearance of troubles

Verse 46

तदक्षयम् महाद्दुःखम् नोत्सहे सहितुम् चिरम् |
विप्रकारम् सपत्नीनामेवम् जीर्णापि राघव || २-२०-४६

46. raaghava = oh; Rama! tat = for that reason; evam = in the way jiir Naapi = even if old aged; notsahe = I do not wish sahitum = to bear viprakaaram = insult sapatniinaam = of co-wives; akshhayam = un-ending mahat = great du Hkham = sorrow chiram = for long time

Oh, Rama! In this old age, I cannot bear insult from co-wives and this unending sorrow for a long time.

Verse 47

अपश्यन्ती तव मुखम् परिपूर्णशशिप्रभम् |
कृपणा वर्तयिष्यामि कथम् कृपणजीविकाम् || २-२०-४७

“How can I the pitiable one, spend this miserable life without seeing your face radiating like full moon.”

47. katham = How kR^ipaNaa = the pitiable me; vartayishhyaami = can roll on kR^ipaNa jiivikaam = this miserable life apashhyantii = without seeing tava = your mukham = face; paripuurNa sashiprabham = radiating like full moon

Verse 48

उपवासैः च योगैः च बहुभिः च परिश्रमैः |
दुह्खम् सम्वर्धितः मोघम् त्वम् हि दुर्गतया मया || २-२०-४८

“You were nourished in vain by me ,the important one by fasts, by meditations, by various difficult and painful vows .”

48. tvam = you samvardhitaH = were nourished mogham = in vain mayaa = by me durgatayaa = the unfortunate one; upavaasaishcha = and painful voes.

Verse 49

स्थिरम् तु हृदयम् मन्ये मम इदम् यन् न दीर्यते |
प्रावृषि इव महा नद्याः स्पृष्टम् कूलम् नव अम्भसा || २-२०-४९

“My heart is not breached, as bank of a great river, struck by new water in monsoon, by hearing this news.That is why, I feel it is strong.”

49. idam = This; mama = my hR^idayam = heart yat = for which reason na diiryate = is not breached kuulam iva = like bank mahaanadyaa = of great river spR^ishhTam = struck navaam bhasaa = by new water praavR^ishhi = in rainy season; manye = I think it sthhiram = as strong.

Verse 50

मम एव नूनम् मरणम् न विद्यते |
न च अवकाशो अस्ति यम क्षये मम |
यद् अन्तको अद्य एव न माम् जिहीर्षति |
प्रसह्य सिम्हो रुदतीम् म्ऱ्गीम् इव || २-२०-५०

“There is no death to me, indeed .I have no place in the abode of god yama who presides over the spirits of the dead .That is why, Yama is not forcingly carrying me off like a lion carrying off a wailing antelope.”

50. na vidyate = There is no maraNam = death naasti = There is no nuunam = indeed. avakaashaH = place; mama = to me yamakshhaye = in the abode of yama. yat = for which reason; antakaH = yama; the god of death najihiirshhati = is not wishing to carry off maam = me adyaiva = now itself prasahya = forcibly.

Verse 51

स्थिरम् हि नूनम् हृदयम् मम आयसम् |
न भिद्यते यद् भुवि न अवदीर्यते |
अनेन दुःखेन च देहम् अर्पितम् |
ध्रुवम् हि अकाले मरणम् न विद्यते || २-२०-५१

“This grief is inserted into my body. Even then, my heart is stable. It has not broken into pieces and fallen on the floor .It is indeed made of iron. There is no untimely death, it is certain”

51. anena duHkhena = By the grief; deham = body arpitam = is pierced. nuunam = Indeed mama = my hR^idayam = heart sthhiram = which is hard aayasam = is made of iron. yat = for which reason na bhidyate = it is not broken naavadiiryate = it has not fallen into pieces; bhuvi = on the floor na vidyate = There is no akaale = untimely = maraNam = death dhR^ivam = It is certain.

Verse 52

इदम् तु दुःखम् यद् अनर्थकानि मे|
व्रतानि दानानि च सम्यमाः च हि |
तपः च तप्तम् यद् अपत्य कारणात् |
सुनिष्फलम् बीजम् इव उप्तम् ऊषरे || २-२०-५२

“I feel bad since all my religious vows, charities, restraints have all gone waste.The austerity I performed for the sake of of -spring has gone in vain, as a seed sown in a saline soil.”

52. idam = This is duHkham = sad anarthakaaniiti = to speak about waste of me = my vrataani = religious voes daanaamicha = charities samyamaashcha = and restraints. yat = which tapaH = austerity taptam = is performed apatya kaaraNaat = for the sake of offspring; sunishhphalam = is completely in vain biijam iva = as seed uptam = sown uushhare = in saline soil.

Verse 53

यदि हि अकाले मरणम् स्वया इच्चया |
लभेत कश्चित् गुरु दुःख कर्शितः |
गता अहम् अद्य एव परेत संसदम् |
विना त्वया धेनुर् इव आत्मजेन वै || २-२०-५३

“If a man in great distress can get premature death out of his own will, I being separated from you ,would have attain the glory of the dead now itself like cow without the calf.”

53. kaschit = If a person guruduHkhakarshitaH = in great distress labheta yadi = can get akaale = premature maraNam = death svayaa = ichchhayaa = out of his own will; aham = I gataa = would have got pareta sampadam = glory of the dead adyaiva = now itself tvayaa vinaa = without you dhenuriva = like cow aatmajenavina = without calf

Verse 54

अथापि किम् जीवित मद्य मे वृथा |
त्वया विना च्न्द्रनिभाननप्रभ |
अनुव्रजिष्यामि वनम् त्वयैव गौः |
सुदुर्बला वत्समिवानुकाङ्क्षया || २-२०-५४

“Moreover, what is the use of life? Oh, Rama! With your brilliant face shining like moon! My life is useless without you. I shall accompany you to the forest like a weak cow going behind it’s calf”

54. athaapi = Moreover; chandranibhaanana prabha = oh; Rama! With your brilliant face shining like moon! kim = what me = my jiivitam = life tvayaavinaa = without you! vR^ithaa = waste indeed. adya = Now anuvrajishhyaami = Ican accompany tvayaiva = you only vanam = to the forest; vatsam iva = like with calf sudurbalaa = a completely weak cow gouH = cow anukaaNkshhayaa = with compassion

Verse 55

भृशम् असुखम् अमर्षिता तदा |
बहु विललाप समीक्ष्य राघवम् |
व्यसनम् उपनिशाम्य सा महत् |
सुतम् इव बद्धम् अवेक्ष्य किम्नरी || २-२०-५५

Then, that Kausalya looked at Rama to whom a great calamity has occurred, saw her son bound by grief and lamented very much in various ways like a kinnara woman.

55. tadaa = Then; saa = that Kausalya samiikshhya = looked at raaghavam = Rama; upanishaamya = beholden with mahat = great vyasanam = calamity; avekshhya = saw sutam = son badhham = tied up; vilaapa = lamented bhR^isham = very much bahu = in many ways asukham = uneasily amarshhitaa = with anger kinnariiva = like kinnara woman.

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